Saturday, October 28, 2006

WHEN TO MOVE ON?

Things are pretty much about making sure we are still putting one foot in front of the other around here. We are both so upset and just trying to deal with all of this.

I made an appointment to go and talk with our doctor and see what she has to say. I want to learn more about the medicine she thinks we should try next time, and how many more IUI cycles she thinks we should do before moving on to more invasive stuff.

I need a plan badly. I need to know what we should be doing, and what the game plan is long range. It makes me feel a lot more okay when I know what to expect. Right now I feel like I don't have any vision of where we are going or what our real chances are, etc. I know that the more we try, the less likely it is to happen. At what point has our luck just run out?

We are going out with a couple that just completed their sixth try and are waiting to find out the results. They said they think that this will be their last shot and I am curious to know what their reasons are. I am equally curious to know what our doctor has them doing and why

The truth is that I have pretty much lost hope that IUI will ever work for us. I am ready to move on and give IVF a try. I know that it is major money and major physical pain, but I need to know if this will ever work. I need to know in two or three tries of IVF if it is time to move on to adoption, etc., rather than waiting out another few months of IUI then IVF. I just need for us to find out the answer, even if it is an expensive one.

What we are going through is pretty emotionally expensive right now and to be honest, our collective sanity/relationship is worth a good deal more to me that the money IVF would cost. I wonder if I would be able to even deal with IVF if we have to go through all of this again. It is very difficult to know what to do or when to make the leap to IVF.

If anyone has any advice on the subject please share. Similarly, if anyone has any advice on Atlanta area RE's or affording all this high tech baby making, share!

3 comments:

Stacy said...

You might want to look into shared risk programs. I used Integramed. You pay for the cost of 2 IVF's up front ($20,000) but, you get 3 FET (assuming you have anything to freeze) and 3 IVF's. If at the end of all that you don't take home a live baby (there is a similar program that once you are pregnant and make it to 12 weeks then your contract is considered completed) then you get back like 80% (maybe 70%, I can't remember)of your intial investment. I did one IVF where we paid out of pocket without the shared risk and it was much more stressful because of the financial worry. With the shared risk we knew if the first one failed we had 2 other IVF's already paid for. You can also do shared risk for IUI but I don't think it is as finacially smart. Hope this helps. Actually, I really hope you get pregnant with a sticky little embryo that hangs around for the next 9 months.

Suzanne said...

I decided to move on to IVF after three IUI cycles that failed. I just felt that our odds weren't that great with IUI and I was already using the same follicle stimulating drugs that I would with IVF so it didn't seem like that big of a leap. My doctor would have kept going with a few more IUIs but was fine with jumping to IVF. I'm glad I did, we discovered the issue was probably my egg quality based on how our embryos developed so it gave us more clarity in our treatment decisions. IVF gives you the most bang for your buck and I was fortunate that I didn't have any complications and ours went fairly smoothly. Check out the CDC reports for clinics in your area, it's not really a fair comparison to compare success rates of one clinic to another, but you can see how many cycles they do and get a reference point for their success rates. As far as financing, we were lucky and our insurance covered part of ours. For the rest of the cost we planned ahead and put a big chunk of money in our flexible spend account so it would be pretax dollars - also if your medical expenses exceed 7.5% of your income you can write off the excess amount on your taxes so if you think you may have to do more than one cycle or one cycle and have a baby the same year - start early in the year to get all your expenses in the same year for taxes. I think that Capital One has some fertility treatment financing too. Good luck with whatever you decide.

vee said...

No advice to offer, i'm sorry, but I just wanted to say that I feel for you, going through this. Not knowing where you are headed and feeling out of control of the process must be the pits.

Wishing you every scrap of luck, whatever you end up deciding.