Tuesday, January 23, 2007


R telephoned me with an update. Dr. A read the results of the beta test and it wasn't good. I can't quote numbers; in fact, I don't think the doctor even gave R any numbers. All we needed to know was the facts, and the fact is that this is all over. I can't begin to express how upset we are.

We will be okay. We always are. But this hurts like hell and I dread the worse that will surely come before the better. I don't even know how to pick up these pieces. It just seems like too much.

The most painful part is that I'm stuck in Perry, Georgia for the next two days (today/tomorrow) and I can't be home with R. My mother-in-law is there with R, which makes me feel a bit better knowing R doesn't have to be alone. My meetings are going well, but I want to be home with my wife. We need each other right now.

Being here with my team members is hard. Only one co-worker/friend knows what's going on. Everyone else is clueless. I couldn't get out of coming here and now that I'm here, I'm expected to be really focused and cheery, etc. (Obviously, the focused part isn't working, as I'm sitting here, blogging.) It will be nice to have some time to wind down tonight, to call my wife and talk to her, and to just have some time alone.


Shelley said...

Big hugs from Seattle. You will make it through to the other side of these two days. It's amazing how slow time can pass sometimes, though.

Sophia said...

I am so so sorry.

vee said...

I'm so, so sorry this has happened to you both. I can't imagine how hard it must be, especially being apart from each other.
You are in my thoughts.

Holly said...

big hugs to you both!
we are so sorry.

Merr said...

My thought are with you. I am so sorry!

LiLi said...

I ran across your blog, quite by accident. I am so sorry for your loss. I've had four miscarriages and YES they SUCK something fierce! :( I wish I had words of encouragement, but I know that those words sound so hollow so soon after a loss. So, all I can offer is my empathy. I suffer through this with all women who have losses. You are forever changed by a loss. I pray that you will find peace, but I know that may take a very long time. Just get lots of hugs from those you love. Hugs help a whole bunch! I'm so sorry you've had to experience this!