Saturday, November 04, 2006

MARRIAGE AND IVF THOUGHTS

We survived another week post near-baby miss. In the last week and a half Ju went out of town for work, we lost the almost-baby, and I started a new job. We have been a little bit busy. Right now, we are mostly focusing on each other and our marriage. Not to worry -- we are not about to hit the skids, but this has been hard on both of us in very different ways.

The good news is that we are, overall, doing really well, even if we are a little confused about what the hell we are supposed to do next about the baby. My favorite next-door neighbor, Kate, commented that she thought we were the kind of couple that is able to deal with the special kind of joy that fertility brings and grow from it. It was a really kind comment; I know that I have not been the easiest spouse lately.

We are carefully considering our next move right now and IVF feels more to me like the answer. The truth is, I don't really know what to do. I just really want us to have a kid or two and not have us lose our minds and go broke trying.

So, now for my questions to all of you in baby making land:

a) When/how did you know it was time to move on to an IVF cycle from IUI?
b) How did you fiance the sucker?
c) Has anyone taken Letrozole? If so, what is the story on my doctor's new IUI drug of choice?
d) How long did it take you to set up an IVF cycle?

I know it is a lot of questions, but I am a gal in need of information and understanding.

Oh, by the way, Ju talked to her friend about the sperm donation and he said "Sure, it is just going to waste anyway...". How funny that he seems to view it as nothing.

3 comments:

Stacy said...

a) When/how did you know it was time to move on to an IVF cycle from IUI?

When we were spending all of our money and getting nothing in return.

b) How did you fiance the sucker?

The first we paid out of pocket. The second we used shared risk through Integramed. We still managed to spend $40,000 in 9 months time.

c) Has anyone taken Letrozole? If so, what is the story on my doctor's new IUI drug of choice?

I took letrozole (aka Femera). It is suppose to be better than Clomid in that there is a lower chance of over stimulation. I preferred clomid although I didn't get as crazy on letrozole as I did clomid. Also, I got pregnant the first round of clomid. It ended in a chemcial pregnancy but I never had success on any other cycle until we did the second IVF.

d) How long did it take you to set up an IVF cycle?

We had to meet with the RE first. I think it was about 2 months after that. It will depend on where you are in your cycle. I know some RE's close down for the holidays. For our second IVF I had to start my meds before I turned 35 or the shared risk program was going to cost us a couple thousand more so my RE got us in quicker, plus we didn't have to take any of the classes on injections and other training that my RE required.

Suzanne said...

a. Ditto Stacy, IUI just seemed like a waste

b. 1st - lucked out and our insurance covered it
2nd - insurance covered a tiny bit, but we had planned ahead and socked away the rest in our flexible spend account
3rd - lucked out again, stock options I had through work were finally worth something so we sold and insurance covered my portion (donor egg cycle, $3,000 related to my portion).

We were very fortunate - my employer's health insurance options had two plans that covered up to $5,000 of IVF. And here's an eye opener - the insurance companies negotiate discounts approx 1/2 what people paying out of pocket pay, it's totally not fair.

c) Don't know, my protocol was follistim, antagon, HCG trigger.

d) Not long, we were already seeing the RE so I started birth control pills when I got the negative and my period after the last IUI.

Andy said...

Hi, I just wanted to say that I love your blog! My partner and I are on our second try at AI. We are using a known donour, but we have the issue that he lives in MI and we live in Halifax Canada!! We foresee becoming really good friends with the Fedex Man!

Good luck!!