R's an educator. This year, she's split between two schools. One of the schools is the same where she worked last year and the other is new to her. As it turns out, her assigned "mentor/coach" at her new school is an older (meaning late 50's) lesbian who we sorta know because she's friends with all of the old-timer lesbians where we live (we like to call them the "lesbian mafia").
Anyhow, on Friday morning, this woman gave R a big speech about how she's not "out" and how she recommends that R not tell anyone she's gay, either. R was like, "Well, the fact that I'm visibly pregnant will make it a little difficult to avoid the questions about my life and my 'husband', etc." I mean, R can either look like an unwed floozy, or people can know she's gay and in a commited relationship. And even if R chose to remain in-the-closet, chances are that our kid will out her one day on their own -- ie, "I want my other mommy!", or something like that.
Well, R, after being bombarded with a million questions on Friday afternoon, finally came out. It went fairly well, no big deal. She happened to talk to her coach today and mentioned what happened and Friday and said that she'd outed herself. Surprisingly, the coach was pretty supportive. However, she did say one thing that was really sad to us.
R was explaing that our kid, at some point, would probably say something about her mommies or whatever. Her mentor said, "Well, it all depends on what you train them to say." We were horrified. I mean, why would we teach our child to be ashamed of us, or to lie about who we are?
So, this prompts the question -- how do y'all handle the two-mommy thing? What names do you use to designate who is who (both being called mommy can be confusing)? Do you encourage your child to refer to you as something else? etc, etc, etc... details, please.