Tuesday, March 06, 2007

STARTING OVER

It looks like we will be doing another round of IUI, with all of the new drug combos recomended by Dr. S. I can't say that I am all that excited about it, but I am pretty sure that it is the right thing to do. I figure we will go one or two more rounds of dual IUI with the new drugs, and then regroup. I truly have no idea what we will do after this. Ju may try if our doctor can get her issues dealt with and if she looks more promising than I do. Or, we may move forward with the IVF. It is hard to know what to do. Right now I am probably happier and more physically comfortable than I have been in a year. My body is slowly returning to normal and I have started to lose some of the weight that I packed on during the hormonal highs and lows of the last year. I would not be suprised if we take a pretty big break (6 months or more) after these next two tries. I know that this sounds a little negative and maybe it is. I am hopeful that we will get lucky in the next few months, but I am also aware of our chances. We have been here a few too many times to be anything other than very realistic. I never thought I would feel this way, but it might be time to think about having a life beyond this. I don't think if we wait another six months or a year that it will really hurt our chances of getting pregnant (we will both be 31 in late summer/early fall). I would love to be a mom, but not at the cost of our relationship and my sanity. I have been spending more time with Z at school, and while there is no way to know if that will all work out or even if it should, I am very much open to the posibility. We will just have to see what the next few months hold in store.

4 comments:

veeandjay said...

You're right to think of your sanity and your relationship - that 6 months may be what you both need. I'm sorry that the choices you face now are so difficult, and that you don't need those 6 months, that you get pregnant and carry to term a wonderful healthy baby and are not faced with anymore of this shit.

Sophia said...

praying and hoping for you. I definately feel after 2+ years we need a well deserved life outside of this.

Holly said...

It sounds like you are feeling better in general! I hope you do have time to enjoy yourself for a little while - and hope when you get back on the bus it works quickly for you!

e. said...

you sound at peace with your new plan. I hope it works out for you and Ju.

breaks have been a really great thing for us when we've needed them and you are right 6 months will not make a big difference in the grand scheme of things.