Thursday, December 07, 2006

!#$&^@!!!

The last time we did an insemination, we used a donor with an extraordinarily high sperm count. Some of you may recall my artistic renditions of what it looked like under a microscope. Anyhow, prior to our plans to use a known donor, we'd really wanted to buy more of this donor's sperm. However, when I called to put it on reserve, he was already "sold out". We went on a pending list with nine other folks ahead of us. Well, a couple of days ago I got a call while at work and it was now our turn to purchase high-count-sperm-guy. The timing seemed like a sign and after talking it over with R, we decided to buy some. I even arranged to pick it up for this round of insemination, just in case we'd need it should something fall through with our known donor.

Well, it's a good thing we followed our gut and bought it because tonight we found out things aren't going to work out with our KD. Even though we planned all of this weeks in advance, he suddenly has other obligations. Yeah, right. His story changed probably three or four times about what it was he had to do. He could be telling the truth; he doesn't have a history of lying. Or, maybe he just didn't want to do it and was trying to keep from disappointing me, although that didn't work. I am upset, disappointed, and mad. Mad, mostly because I feel like he lied to me, even though I have no proof.

Also, I am frustrated. I have spent weeks coordinating medicines and scheduling stuff. We even rigged R's meds so that we could time it for this weekend, rather than just letting it fall when it would on its own. All that and now, we have to just use our donor sperm from the bank. At least we know that he's got good swimmers. I'm just terribly upset to learn that we're going from having two in-office insems and one at-home insem to just having one in-office insem. I feel like our chances have just somehow been diminished greatly, even if they haven't.

Anyway, we have our insemination tomorrow morning. Wish us luck! This is try number six and the bank says that's their average of how long it takes. Let's hope there's some truth to that.

3 comments:

Trevor said...

On the other hand, it's soooooo much better to find out now that a known donor is going to flake out. How painful would it be to find out that he's going to have second thoughts about being involved *after* getting pregnant.

Good luck with the unknown donor's little guys!

vee said...

How could your KD do that - outrageous!! In your shoes, I'd be far more furious! Take consolation in the fact that you have discovered his unreliability BEFORE getting pregnant with his sperm.

I'm glad you have a Plan B though, especially one involving super-swimmers! Hope it goes well, even though it's not what you'd hoped and planned for.

I'm excited that you'll be joining me in the TWW - we insemmed earlier in the week - nice to have the company. Try #6 for us too!!

Anonymous said...

Good luck!

Your KD sounds like our former KD. We insem'd one cycle with him and then by the next one he freaked out, wanted tons of control and eventually bailed. It was heartbreaking. I was so devested. It did turn out to be a good thing for us and we are very happy with our decision to go forward with frozen identity release.

I wish you all the best!