Try #3 didn't work. R is due for her period today/tomorrow, and while she hasn't started yet, she did take a pregnancy test this morning and it read "negative". Additionally, all signs seem to be clear that she will start her period -- skin breakout, tender breasts, moodiness, etc. She seemed pretty upset, but we didn't even have a chance to talk about it because she had to leave quickly for the second day in a two-part job-related workshop she's doing.
While I am disappointed, I'm not as upset this month as in previous months. I think this is due mostly to the fact that R, basically, from just a couple of days after insemination, kept announcing that it didn't work. She said she felt pre-menstrual and well, no one knows her body better than she does, so I didn't question it. I just accepted things early on and didn't allow myself to get excited at all.
We're taking a break from insemination for one month, maybe two. We've had a vacation planned in July for quite a while and had we made the choice to try again next month, it would conflict with our trip. And, quite frankly, at this point we need a vacation more than anything. We're not sure if we'll try again in August. We're leaning towards 'yes', but that's when the school year starts again, which is always stressful. So, who knows. I guess we'll see how we feel as the time draws closer.
We went to Atlanta Pride this past weekend and there was a booth for an organization which specializes in International Adoption, specifically adoption from Mexico. Things were kind of crowded, so we waited to call about it when we got home. Here's the deal: This agency, run by two lesbians, helps individuals to adopt babies from Guanajuato, Mexico. They offer newborns only and you can choose whether you want a boy or a girl. The whole process takes only 180 days and costs $19,000. ($10,000 of this is refundable through the adoption tax credit.) So, basically, if we pursue this, we could potentially have a baby within six months time for approximately $9,000. It's kind of exciting to think about!
R's mom spoke with a psychic on Monday, who told her that R would be pregnant within six months time and that she (my mother-in-law) would be a grandmother within a year's time. I thought it was interesting that the psychic referred to "six months", since we'd just inquired about the 180-day adoption process. It makes me wonder if that's what she was really referring to, although she did say something about R being pregnant. So, who knows.
On another note, we got to meet Amanda and her girlfriend, T, from For the Byrds while we were at Atlanta Pride. They were so friendly and welcoming and well, it was just really nice to meet them!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
NOW WE WAIT
So... we are enjoying the forever fabulous two week wait that accompanies the most recent baby try. We know not to expect much and have been pretty low key about the whole thing. Usually, I am really excited at this point, but this time we are just trying to make it to next Friday without losing it. So far, we are doing okay.
We are not trying next month because we are taking a beach vacation at the same time that we are supposed to be having the IUI and I really wasn't in the mood for the drugs this month, much less next month. We decided we would re-evaluate and try in September at the earliest. The reality is that this is how we/I feel today, and tomorrow could be completely different.
On a different and slightly more crazy note, my mom is really sick and has been to see every doctor you can think of and remains largely undiagnosed after about four-plus years and (I know this is a little nuts) has now turned to psychics!!?? Hummm... well, anyhow, mom has another psychic appointment on Thursday and my ability to produce young is on the list of questions. I am both very curious (I know this is messed up) and worried about the answer. I am completely unsure of how accurate any of this is or how much stock I put into this stuff, but it freaks me out all the same. The last person we saw told me that I was never going to have children because "the plumbing doesn't work". I cried the whole way home.... yay!
I really feel like this might be the thing that pushes me over the edge. While the obvious answer is to this issue is to simply to not allow my mother to ask the evil question, I freakishly want to know what she says. I figure I have a 50/50 chance of hearing something positive and she has a 50/50 chance of being right.
P.S. the last psychic also told me that my mom was going to kick the bucket (which obviously hasn't happened yet) and my little bro's marriage was on the way out (that part was on the money but even my cats had bets on that one). As for the baby, the jury is still out... at least I like to think this.
We are not trying next month because we are taking a beach vacation at the same time that we are supposed to be having the IUI and I really wasn't in the mood for the drugs this month, much less next month. We decided we would re-evaluate and try in September at the earliest. The reality is that this is how we/I feel today, and tomorrow could be completely different.
On a different and slightly more crazy note, my mom is really sick and has been to see every doctor you can think of and remains largely undiagnosed after about four-plus years and (I know this is a little nuts) has now turned to psychics!!?? Hummm... well, anyhow, mom has another psychic appointment on Thursday and my ability to produce young is on the list of questions. I am both very curious (I know this is messed up) and worried about the answer. I am completely unsure of how accurate any of this is or how much stock I put into this stuff, but it freaks me out all the same. The last person we saw told me that I was never going to have children because "the plumbing doesn't work". I cried the whole way home.... yay!
I really feel like this might be the thing that pushes me over the edge. While the obvious answer is to this issue is to simply to not allow my mother to ask the evil question, I freakishly want to know what she says. I figure I have a 50/50 chance of hearing something positive and she has a 50/50 chance of being right.
P.S. the last psychic also told me that my mom was going to kick the bucket (which obviously hasn't happened yet) and my little bro's marriage was on the way out (that part was on the money but even my cats had bets on that one). As for the baby, the jury is still out... at least I like to think this.
Friday, June 16, 2006
TRY # 3
This morning, we went in for try number three. I was quite grateful to the staff for having everything ready to go when we arrived... the last two times, we were stuck waiting in the lobby for 45 minutes or so each time, waiting for the sperm specimen to thaw out. We were told then that they couldn't thaw it beforehand because something could happen to us on our way over that would delay the insemination time... blah, blah, blah. Anyway, this nurse threw caution to the wind and got everything ready for us. What a relief to not have to wait!
As we were getting out of the car to go into the doctor's office, this woman in the parking lot noticed R, who was walking far ahead of me. (I was dragging behind because I was getting some stuff out of the car to take in with me.) Anyway, this woman (I knew who she was, but was trying to play dumb) was like, "Wait...!", trying to get R's attention, but she'd already gone through the door. Then, this woman looks at me and was like, "What is R doing here?" I'm like, what the hell?!? how rude!, but I just chalked it up to a routine gynecological examination. (This woman is the parent of two kids R's taught for the last two years.) So, anyway, she walks into the clinic and sits down next to R in the lobby and starts asking all of these school-related questions, like where her child would be placed next year, etc. The nerve! Not to mention that she was strung out. The staff in the clinic were so confused and could tell we were uneasy, so they called us back so that this lady would have to leave. It was kind of nuts.
The insemination procedure went really well. Overall, things were really relaxed. We talked to the doctor at length about what happens from here. We got lots of good answers and apparantly, the fact that we only had one follicle is totally normal. The doctor said she would have been more concerned if we'd had, for example, seven follicles. So, anyway, we felt good about the things she said.
So, now, all that's left to do is wait... I just wish someone had a test to check how things were progressing.
In other baby news, I just found out that my cousin, Brandon, and his wife, Katie, are expecting a boy!
As we were getting out of the car to go into the doctor's office, this woman in the parking lot noticed R, who was walking far ahead of me. (I was dragging behind because I was getting some stuff out of the car to take in with me.) Anyway, this woman (I knew who she was, but was trying to play dumb) was like, "Wait...!", trying to get R's attention, but she'd already gone through the door. Then, this woman looks at me and was like, "What is R doing here?" I'm like, what the hell?!? how rude!, but I just chalked it up to a routine gynecological examination. (This woman is the parent of two kids R's taught for the last two years.) So, anyway, she walks into the clinic and sits down next to R in the lobby and starts asking all of these school-related questions, like where her child would be placed next year, etc. The nerve! Not to mention that she was strung out. The staff in the clinic were so confused and could tell we were uneasy, so they called us back so that this lady would have to leave. It was kind of nuts.
The insemination procedure went really well. Overall, things were really relaxed. We talked to the doctor at length about what happens from here. We got lots of good answers and apparantly, the fact that we only had one follicle is totally normal. The doctor said she would have been more concerned if we'd had, for example, seven follicles. So, anyway, we felt good about the things she said.
So, now, all that's left to do is wait... I just wish someone had a test to check how things were progressing.
In other baby news, I just found out that my cousin, Brandon, and his wife, Katie, are expecting a boy!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
ANOTHER TRY TOMORROW
Yesterday, R and I went to our doctor for an ultrasound. After a round of Clomid, we expected to have multiple follicles with which to work, but our examination concluded that we only have one. This is very disappointing news. The doctor said the one follicle and the lining look great, but I think that she, too, was disappointed with the results.
We asked what our course of action should be. She answered by saying that if we were a straight couple, she'd tell us to go home and have intercourse, and wait to do insemination next month when we could take even stronger drugs. But, since we don't have that convenience, she said we should go ahead with the insemination, even though our situation is not optimal.
We had to place an order for a sperm specimen at the last minute yesterday afternoon. We'd put it off for two reasons -- a) We weren't sure if we were going to be doing the insemination until we saw the doctor. b) There weren't any sperm donors listed in the catalog that we were dying to use. The end result? We had to pick someone and fortunately, we feel good about the new donor. (We've had to pick a different donor each time we've inseminated because they keep selling out!) He's a professor and a researcher and obviously quite brilliant. Additionally, he's a bit older (born in 1970), so he probably actually has a clue about what he's getting himself into by agreeing to an "open id" status. All-in-all, we feel good about the selection of this donor.
This morning, we woke at 6:30am and left our house by 7:00am to drive to Augusta to retrieve the tank, in hopes that we could get back in time to join our friends at 11:00 for kayaking on the river. Unfortunately, when we arrived at the cryo facility, they didn't have our stuff ready to go, even though the woman we spoke with yesterday said it was ready then. She knew what time we'd be there this morning, yet she hadn't even bothered to prepare the paperwork packets. So, there we were, waiting for her to finish up and then her photocopier malfunctioned, thus delaying things even further. So, needless to say, we didn't make it back in time to go kayaking. (It's just as well, as I ended up being too tired from battling a head cold this week and crashed when we got home, not waking until late in the afternoon. And Rachel said her arms were really sore from the injections she had last night. She crashed with me. Zzzzzz...)
We go in first thing tomorrow morning for our insemination. At this point, I think we both feel like we're just plodding along. Don't get me wrong; we're excited, but mostly, we're terrified and just sad. It's hard to get excited when you're terrified and sad.
We asked what our course of action should be. She answered by saying that if we were a straight couple, she'd tell us to go home and have intercourse, and wait to do insemination next month when we could take even stronger drugs. But, since we don't have that convenience, she said we should go ahead with the insemination, even though our situation is not optimal.
We had to place an order for a sperm specimen at the last minute yesterday afternoon. We'd put it off for two reasons -- a) We weren't sure if we were going to be doing the insemination until we saw the doctor. b) There weren't any sperm donors listed in the catalog that we were dying to use. The end result? We had to pick someone and fortunately, we feel good about the new donor. (We've had to pick a different donor each time we've inseminated because they keep selling out!) He's a professor and a researcher and obviously quite brilliant. Additionally, he's a bit older (born in 1970), so he probably actually has a clue about what he's getting himself into by agreeing to an "open id" status. All-in-all, we feel good about the selection of this donor.
This morning, we woke at 6:30am and left our house by 7:00am to drive to Augusta to retrieve the tank, in hopes that we could get back in time to join our friends at 11:00 for kayaking on the river. Unfortunately, when we arrived at the cryo facility, they didn't have our stuff ready to go, even though the woman we spoke with yesterday said it was ready then. She knew what time we'd be there this morning, yet she hadn't even bothered to prepare the paperwork packets. So, there we were, waiting for her to finish up and then her photocopier malfunctioned, thus delaying things even further. So, needless to say, we didn't make it back in time to go kayaking. (It's just as well, as I ended up being too tired from battling a head cold this week and crashed when we got home, not waking until late in the afternoon. And Rachel said her arms were really sore from the injections she had last night. She crashed with me. Zzzzzz...)
We go in first thing tomorrow morning for our insemination. At this point, I think we both feel like we're just plodding along. Don't get me wrong; we're excited, but mostly, we're terrified and just sad. It's hard to get excited when you're terrified and sad.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
OHHH, THE WAIT TIL WEDNESDAY...
Okay, so I haven't been blogging because I am just a mess!! I am trying not to freakout. We went back to the doctor last week and she said that we would now "graduate" from just doing Metformin cycles to ye old Clomid and Metformin cycles. Yea!?! She said it would hopefully increase the number of eggs we were working with and improve the quality of those eggs.
I have just finished my Clomid challenge thingie... what is this you ask? Well, frankly, hell if I know! All I know is that I had blood work done on day 4 of the cycle and then started taking 100 mg of Clomid every day for five days and then on day 11 (Monday), I will have a second round of blood work done. I know they are checking to see how I react with the Clomid, but I really don't know what they are looking for in the blood work.
On Wednesday, I will have an ultrasound that will tell me how many follicles/eggs we have to work with and then the doctor will decide if we are going to do an IUI this month... UGHHHH!!!! I really feel like I just want to know what the deal is. I want to know how the Clomid has gone now!! I want lots of eggs that are mature and ready to go!
We are also frustrated by the fact that right now our sperm choices are not so great. When Julianna says things to me like, "I can't decide if he is cute or scary", or, "He seems so great; too bad he says he is 'donating sperm because Jesus told him to'... Do you think fundmentalism is genetic?", I know we are up a big creek. Too bad there isn't a sperm o' the month club.
I have just finished my Clomid challenge thingie... what is this you ask? Well, frankly, hell if I know! All I know is that I had blood work done on day 4 of the cycle and then started taking 100 mg of Clomid every day for five days and then on day 11 (Monday), I will have a second round of blood work done. I know they are checking to see how I react with the Clomid, but I really don't know what they are looking for in the blood work.
On Wednesday, I will have an ultrasound that will tell me how many follicles/eggs we have to work with and then the doctor will decide if we are going to do an IUI this month... UGHHHH!!!! I really feel like I just want to know what the deal is. I want to know how the Clomid has gone now!! I want lots of eggs that are mature and ready to go!
We are also frustrated by the fact that right now our sperm choices are not so great. When Julianna says things to me like, "I can't decide if he is cute or scary", or, "He seems so great; too bad he says he is 'donating sperm because Jesus told him to'... Do you think fundmentalism is genetic?", I know we are up a big creek. Too bad there isn't a sperm o' the month club.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
TOMORROW
We go to see our new doctor tomorrow. We switched to the other doctor in the practice. Our old doctor, Dr. L, is a very nice guy, but doesn't really seem confident when it comes to A.I. While Dr L was out of town a couple of weeks ago, we saw his partner, Dr. A, who seemed super-confident and really in tune with what was going on with us. (She actually did our last insemination.) Dr. A is a mom and I feel like she understands how hard it is to wait and hope for a baby. She was also very warm and funny while obviously extremely knowledgeable. She was not clinical and seemed to really understand how we as a couple felt.
Anyway, I was really freaked out about calling the nurse who coordinates all of the fertility stuff and telling her we wanted to switch. I know we are the consumers blah blah blah... but Dr. L is a nice guy and as dumb as this is, I don't want to hurt his feelings! The fertiltiy nurse was great and while she was endlessly professional in her conversation with us, she also made it clear that she understood why we would make the choice to change to Dr. A. I am really looking forward to talking with her and I am equally excited to get moving on what ever we decide is next!
I have to tell the sweet little brother story now... I was talking to my brother (a nearly starving artist living in NYC) and was talking about the very stressful issue of PAYING for all of this stuff since our insurance pays not a cent toward fertility treatment. During our conversation my ADORABLE (and very broke) brother said that he wanted to try to help us out with the cash issue. I of course told him that I thought that was the sweetest thing ever but that he should focus on keeping himself stocked with Ramen and beer. My family has always been very supportive of me as a lesbian and of Juilianna as my partner, but I think that the possibility of a baby has given them a new way to see us and support us as a couple.
Anyway, I was really freaked out about calling the nurse who coordinates all of the fertility stuff and telling her we wanted to switch. I know we are the consumers blah blah blah... but Dr. L is a nice guy and as dumb as this is, I don't want to hurt his feelings! The fertiltiy nurse was great and while she was endlessly professional in her conversation with us, she also made it clear that she understood why we would make the choice to change to Dr. A. I am really looking forward to talking with her and I am equally excited to get moving on what ever we decide is next!
I have to tell the sweet little brother story now... I was talking to my brother (a nearly starving artist living in NYC) and was talking about the very stressful issue of PAYING for all of this stuff since our insurance pays not a cent toward fertility treatment. During our conversation my ADORABLE (and very broke) brother said that he wanted to try to help us out with the cash issue. I of course told him that I thought that was the sweetest thing ever but that he should focus on keeping himself stocked with Ramen and beer. My family has always been very supportive of me as a lesbian and of Juilianna as my partner, but I think that the possibility of a baby has given them a new way to see us and support us as a couple.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
OK HERE WE GO AGAIN
ok ok here we go again
Well, as you all know, we are on to try number three. Frankly, I am wondering how much of this I can take. Julianna seems very sane about the whole thing, but I vacillate between feeling okay and freaking completely out.
I went to see my mom the next day after we found out that there was no baby, and she was really supportive. I managed to not cry the whole time I was at her house, which lately has been a major feat. She offered cash to help out with the crazy expensive procedures that are an option (i.e., IVF more drugs etc, etc, etc....) if it should come to that. I was really excited to hear that she was willing to help out in this way and I rationalized our potential acceptance of this money by reminding myself that she did shell out the big bucks for my brother's wedding. Hey, we are probably a bargain by comparison!
Additionally, I find myself trolling adoption sites, watching the heartbreaking stuff on tv this week about foster care, and looking at pictures of children, hoping that one of them will just look like the right kid to me and I will know what to do. I know that one way or another we will become the parents of a child, but I just wonder how all of this will work for us. I have never had much faith in my personal fertility, so while I am generally a pretty optomistic person, this is one area in which I always brace myself for the worst.
I have asked a few friends what IVF was like for them and one of my favorite people said "...you know I tried for three years with my husband to have kids. Then, we walked into an IVF clinic and 15 days later I was pregnant with triplets!" She said it was painful, but not that bad, and that she was given really good drugs. Another woman told me it was the most god-awful, painful, hellish experience of her life. She said she refused all pain meds, even during the egg harvesting, during which she passed out because of the pain. She has two beauitful children as a result. Good for her, but I think I'll take the drugs!
This is another random note: there are a few states that require that the insurance companies pay for IVF. The folks that I know from these states who have had IVF are baffled when they hear me talk about IUI. They all just say "...Well I wasn't getting pregnant after trying for a while, so we did IVF; none of this IUI stuff at all..." AMAZING! They also have generally more positive expereinces, in part because they didn't go through a million IUI cycles.
It makes me wonder what the stats are on IUI vs. IVF and if folks like me trying to get pregnant had finincial help from insurance companies, if fertitly treatment protocol wouldn't be very different?
Well, as you all know, we are on to try number three. Frankly, I am wondering how much of this I can take. Julianna seems very sane about the whole thing, but I vacillate between feeling okay and freaking completely out.
I went to see my mom the next day after we found out that there was no baby, and she was really supportive. I managed to not cry the whole time I was at her house, which lately has been a major feat. She offered cash to help out with the crazy expensive procedures that are an option (i.e., IVF more drugs etc, etc, etc....) if it should come to that. I was really excited to hear that she was willing to help out in this way and I rationalized our potential acceptance of this money by reminding myself that she did shell out the big bucks for my brother's wedding. Hey, we are probably a bargain by comparison!
Additionally, I find myself trolling adoption sites, watching the heartbreaking stuff on tv this week about foster care, and looking at pictures of children, hoping that one of them will just look like the right kid to me and I will know what to do. I know that one way or another we will become the parents of a child, but I just wonder how all of this will work for us. I have never had much faith in my personal fertility, so while I am generally a pretty optomistic person, this is one area in which I always brace myself for the worst.
I have asked a few friends what IVF was like for them and one of my favorite people said "...you know I tried for three years with my husband to have kids. Then, we walked into an IVF clinic and 15 days later I was pregnant with triplets!" She said it was painful, but not that bad, and that she was given really good drugs. Another woman told me it was the most god-awful, painful, hellish experience of her life. She said she refused all pain meds, even during the egg harvesting, during which she passed out because of the pain. She has two beauitful children as a result. Good for her, but I think I'll take the drugs!
This is another random note: there are a few states that require that the insurance companies pay for IVF. The folks that I know from these states who have had IVF are baffled when they hear me talk about IUI. They all just say "...Well I wasn't getting pregnant after trying for a while, so we did IVF; none of this IUI stuff at all..." AMAZING! They also have generally more positive expereinces, in part because they didn't go through a million IUI cycles.
It makes me wonder what the stats are on IUI vs. IVF and if folks like me trying to get pregnant had finincial help from insurance companies, if fertitly treatment protocol wouldn't be very different?
Friday, June 02, 2006
STARTING AGAIN
Rachel got her period late last night, so we'll have to start all over again. We called our doctor's office this morning and scheduled an appointment for Monday. We hope to then discuss with the doctor what our realistic expectation should be and come up with a plan for what we should do next. We realize we've only tried twice now and that's not much in the grand scheme, but already we're wearing ourselves out emotionally and want the best chance possible. Additionally, our funds are not unlimited, so we need to figure out that end of it, too. We could try a few more times with IUI, but if we have a better chance doing something else, then our money would be more wisely spent doing that. Or, if we need to just put what's left towards adoption, then we need to know, ya know? Anyway, we're pretty disappointed, but glad to have lots of support.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
WHAT IS THE DEAL?!?
What is the deal?! It seems like everyone around us has either just adopted a baby, given birth, or is pregnant. Seriously!
Our friends, Sarah and Holly, just adopted Thea. Katey and Matt, who live in Seattle, just had their baby, Max. Rachel's buddy, Stephanie, and Stephanie's partner, just had their baby, Laurel. I also found out that a childhood friend, Brent, and his wife, just had a little boy, Jimmie. To top it all off, this week alone, I found out that my friend, Christina, is expecting, as well as another friend, Dana.
It's so damn frustrating!
Our friends, Sarah and Holly, just adopted Thea. Katey and Matt, who live in Seattle, just had their baby, Max. Rachel's buddy, Stephanie, and Stephanie's partner, just had their baby, Laurel. I also found out that a childhood friend, Brent, and his wife, just had a little boy, Jimmie. To top it all off, this week alone, I found out that my friend, Christina, is expecting, as well as another friend, Dana.
It's so damn frustrating!
Monday, May 22, 2006
XYTEX & ZYTEX
Just a funny...
The sperm bank we use is Xytex. (pronounced Zytex)
I just saw a commercial for a mouthwash called "Breath Rx, featuring Zytex".
Hahaha...
The sperm bank we use is Xytex. (pronounced Zytex)
I just saw a commercial for a mouthwash called "Breath Rx, featuring Zytex".
Hahaha...
QUESTION
Okay, folks, I gotta ask -- did any of you feel any differently after insemination? I especially want to hear from those of you who got pregnant. Did you have any symptoms or any way that you felt that led you to think you were pregnant before you found out for sure?
Sunday, May 21, 2006
RACHEL SAYS...
We've had a busy month...
I finally finished my specialist degree (an EdS, which is a step between a Masters and PhD) from the university this week, which is exciting because: A) it will give me more free time B) it will give us more money because with my newest advanced degree, I will get a raise!
We're trying to get our house ready to sell, so we can move from our tiny house to one that will be more accomodating for a family. We're really excited about having a new house, but I had to promise Julianna a new wiener dog when we move. Julianna's not a fan of moving and I hope I really love our new home because I doubt she'll ever let us move again after that! The new house, which we've selected already, needs to have a lot done so it should keep us pretty busy for the summer.
As far as baby news goes -- right now, we're hanging out in maybe-baby land. We inseminated on Friday and I feel really positive and confident that things will work out, but it's hard to tell because I felt the same way last time. It's like my body and mind plays tricks on me, leaving me really confused. We'll know for sure in about two-and-a-half to three weeks. I have to say, I am really hoping this is it because this is really stressful! Additionally, I also believe that we have the world's best donor. He is absolutely beautiful and seems like he'd be a really nice person. His baby photo looks so much like my little brother, who is my favorite person, so that makes me happy. Julianna actually picked him without my input because it was a last-minute decision. (Our choice prior to that was "sold out") I have to say if this works, we'll purchase more to make baby number two down the road.
Other than that, we're planning our annual jaunt to Tybee Island for a week in the summer and I'll be spending a lot of time with my Mom while Julianna is working. I am hoping that with the sale of the house and our extra income, we'll have a little extra to take a super-nice vacation, but that's probably a long shot. We're also eagerly awaiting the opening of the university's swimming pool.
For the most part, I'm looking to take it easy this summer and enjoy myself. It's the first time ever that I've had time off from both work and school. So, hopefully, with my added level of relaxation, we'll have a better shot with this baby business. Keep your fingers crossed for us!
I finally finished my specialist degree (an EdS, which is a step between a Masters and PhD) from the university this week, which is exciting because: A) it will give me more free time B) it will give us more money because with my newest advanced degree, I will get a raise!
We're trying to get our house ready to sell, so we can move from our tiny house to one that will be more accomodating for a family. We're really excited about having a new house, but I had to promise Julianna a new wiener dog when we move. Julianna's not a fan of moving and I hope I really love our new home because I doubt she'll ever let us move again after that! The new house, which we've selected already, needs to have a lot done so it should keep us pretty busy for the summer.
As far as baby news goes -- right now, we're hanging out in maybe-baby land. We inseminated on Friday and I feel really positive and confident that things will work out, but it's hard to tell because I felt the same way last time. It's like my body and mind plays tricks on me, leaving me really confused. We'll know for sure in about two-and-a-half to three weeks. I have to say, I am really hoping this is it because this is really stressful! Additionally, I also believe that we have the world's best donor. He is absolutely beautiful and seems like he'd be a really nice person. His baby photo looks so much like my little brother, who is my favorite person, so that makes me happy. Julianna actually picked him without my input because it was a last-minute decision. (Our choice prior to that was "sold out") I have to say if this works, we'll purchase more to make baby number two down the road.
Other than that, we're planning our annual jaunt to Tybee Island for a week in the summer and I'll be spending a lot of time with my Mom while Julianna is working. I am hoping that with the sale of the house and our extra income, we'll have a little extra to take a super-nice vacation, but that's probably a long shot. We're also eagerly awaiting the opening of the university's swimming pool.
For the most part, I'm looking to take it easy this summer and enjoy myself. It's the first time ever that I've had time off from both work and school. So, hopefully, with my added level of relaxation, we'll have a better shot with this baby business. Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
CHASING A NEEDLE
Last night, we went to Linda's house for her to give Rachel an HCG injection. I prepped the injection and just as Linda was about to stick Rachel, she stopped to say there wasn't any way we could use that needle. The doctor's office provided only one needle with the kit and it was the same needle that had to be stuck two different times through the rubber tip in the neck of the vials to draw up the medicine. (one vial with saline, the next with Novarel) In the process, the needle became a bit dull and certainly, you wouldn't want to be stuck with a dull needle!
Fortunately, Linda lives next door to the OB who referred us to the doctor doing the insemination, so she called him up to ask about getting a fresh needle from him. As luck would have it, he had plenty of sterile packaged needles on hand and we were able to get a new one to do the injection. Yay!
I don't know what would have happened if we had done the injection at home. Oh, wait, yes I do -- Rachel would have killed me. She's such a needle-phobe, you basically get one time to do it right with her and then it's all over. If I'd been stuck with that dull needle, one of us would have ended up hurting the other.
Lucky for us, Athens is a small town and we were able to get what we needed. One strange thing, though, the doctor's office gave us no instruction on what to do with the needles once we disposed of them. Fortunately, Linda works in a lab and said she'd dispose of them at work for us.
Anyway, I am just glad this part is all over and if for some reason we ever have to do this again, we'll be calling Linda!
Fortunately, Linda lives next door to the OB who referred us to the doctor doing the insemination, so she called him up to ask about getting a fresh needle from him. As luck would have it, he had plenty of sterile packaged needles on hand and we were able to get a new one to do the injection. Yay!
I don't know what would have happened if we had done the injection at home. Oh, wait, yes I do -- Rachel would have killed me. She's such a needle-phobe, you basically get one time to do it right with her and then it's all over. If I'd been stuck with that dull needle, one of us would have ended up hurting the other.
Lucky for us, Athens is a small town and we were able to get what we needed. One strange thing, though, the doctor's office gave us no instruction on what to do with the needles once we disposed of them. Fortunately, Linda works in a lab and said she'd dispose of them at work for us.
Anyway, I am just glad this part is all over and if for some reason we ever have to do this again, we'll be calling Linda!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
TODAY'S APPOINTMENT
We went for Rachel's ultrasound today. The follicle wasn't quite mature enough to give the HCG injection just then, so I was trained to give the injection at home, which is to be administered at 11:00pm sharp. Then we'll return to the doctor for our insemination mid-day Friday.
There's a problem with the injection, though, which is that Rachel doesn't trust me to give it. This is rediculous, but she's convinced she needs someone with some kind of professional medical training. So, early in the day, around 4:30 or so, I called our friend, Holly (who is also the vegan adoptive parent I've written about in previous entries), who is a doctor to ask if she'd give Rachel her injection late this evening. She said yes, of course, no problem, etc. Well, then she called about 30 minutes ago, at about 10:00pm, freaking out about administering this injection. Come to find out, she hasn't given an injection of any sort in eight years! It was clear that if she as a doctor was nervous about giving the injection, then we didn't want her to do it, ya know? So, we brainstormed to figure out who else we could ask at the last minute.
As it turns out, our next door neighbor's mother, Linda, is a pharmacist and has lots of simple injection experience. This past winter alone, she administered over 800 flu shots. Our HCG shot isn't much more complex than that and Linda feels very confident about doing it, so we feel good and of course, we're really thankful to have found someone reliable to give this shot. Otherwise, I was thinking I'd have to slip Rachel some Benadryl, coax her to sleep, and then plop that injection into her quickly! haha.
There's a problem with the injection, though, which is that Rachel doesn't trust me to give it. This is rediculous, but she's convinced she needs someone with some kind of professional medical training. So, early in the day, around 4:30 or so, I called our friend, Holly (who is also the vegan adoptive parent I've written about in previous entries), who is a doctor to ask if she'd give Rachel her injection late this evening. She said yes, of course, no problem, etc. Well, then she called about 30 minutes ago, at about 10:00pm, freaking out about administering this injection. Come to find out, she hasn't given an injection of any sort in eight years! It was clear that if she as a doctor was nervous about giving the injection, then we didn't want her to do it, ya know? So, we brainstormed to figure out who else we could ask at the last minute.
As it turns out, our next door neighbor's mother, Linda, is a pharmacist and has lots of simple injection experience. This past winter alone, she administered over 800 flu shots. Our HCG shot isn't much more complex than that and Linda feels very confident about doing it, so we feel good and of course, we're really thankful to have found someone reliable to give this shot. Otherwise, I was thinking I'd have to slip Rachel some Benadryl, coax her to sleep, and then plop that injection into her quickly! haha.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
IT'S BEEN A WHILE...
So much has been going on, it's hard to know where to start...
The biggest news is that tomorrow we meet with our doctor to have an ultrasound to inspect where we are with ovulation. Then, we'll do one HCG (is that right?) injection to force a timed ovualtion. Even though we know Rachel ovulates regularly with no problem, this supposedly will help us time things better and will guarantee a quality egg, or at least that's what we've been told. After all of that, we'll return to our doctor sometime on Thursday for our second insemination. We're very nervous and very excited.
In the midst of it all, we've been through sperm hell. We'd selected two or three donors we really liked, all of whom were still in the database as of Friday. Well, we went out of town for the weekend and when we returned Sunday evening, we logged back into the database to discover that all three of the donors we liked were sold out! Talk about a panic. No worries, as all is well now. This morning, I checked the database again, just to see if by some miracle one of our guys was back in the list. They weren't, but someone new was added and he's just perfect, or at least I think so. Anyway, I feel really relieved, even though the whole act of picking a donor from a catalog is pure torture.
Tomorrow morning I'll be driving to the sperm bank an hour and a half away to retrieve our specimen in its tank and then coming back in time for our appointment. In the meantime, Rachel will be trying her best to relax.
This afternoon, she'll go for her second accupuncture appointment, which will be followed up by a massage. We're not sure how we feel about accupuncture, but it's done at the wellness center at our local hospital by a physician, so that helps a bit. You know, anything to help Rachel calm down is best and we figured that at the very least, the accupuncture couldn't hurt.
Just a tidbit of information -- Rachel had shingles last month, which is one of the reasons we had to wait a month inbetween tries. Her shingles were mild, however, and have healed up on their own without medicine. Her doctor said that the cure was worse than the illness itself, so we decided to hold out and see if she could get better on her own. Thank heavens, she did. We've also been on a regimen of prenatal vitamins, once-a-day baby aspirin, and 1500mg of Metformin daily. Hopefully, everything combined will make for a successful conception.
For now, we're just wishing we could make this special. Not that it isn't special in and of itself, but we'd like to do something nice. But it's all so scheduled and medical, it's hard to have it be sweet and special. Plus, all of this falls in the middle of the week, with the insemination on Rachel's last day of school!
So, in a nutshell, that's what we've been doing. If you wanna know more about the rest of our boring lives, check out Julianna 2006 for more.
The biggest news is that tomorrow we meet with our doctor to have an ultrasound to inspect where we are with ovulation. Then, we'll do one HCG (is that right?) injection to force a timed ovualtion. Even though we know Rachel ovulates regularly with no problem, this supposedly will help us time things better and will guarantee a quality egg, or at least that's what we've been told. After all of that, we'll return to our doctor sometime on Thursday for our second insemination. We're very nervous and very excited.
In the midst of it all, we've been through sperm hell. We'd selected two or three donors we really liked, all of whom were still in the database as of Friday. Well, we went out of town for the weekend and when we returned Sunday evening, we logged back into the database to discover that all three of the donors we liked were sold out! Talk about a panic. No worries, as all is well now. This morning, I checked the database again, just to see if by some miracle one of our guys was back in the list. They weren't, but someone new was added and he's just perfect, or at least I think so. Anyway, I feel really relieved, even though the whole act of picking a donor from a catalog is pure torture.
Tomorrow morning I'll be driving to the sperm bank an hour and a half away to retrieve our specimen in its tank and then coming back in time for our appointment. In the meantime, Rachel will be trying her best to relax.
This afternoon, she'll go for her second accupuncture appointment, which will be followed up by a massage. We're not sure how we feel about accupuncture, but it's done at the wellness center at our local hospital by a physician, so that helps a bit. You know, anything to help Rachel calm down is best and we figured that at the very least, the accupuncture couldn't hurt.
Just a tidbit of information -- Rachel had shingles last month, which is one of the reasons we had to wait a month inbetween tries. Her shingles were mild, however, and have healed up on their own without medicine. Her doctor said that the cure was worse than the illness itself, so we decided to hold out and see if she could get better on her own. Thank heavens, she did. We've also been on a regimen of prenatal vitamins, once-a-day baby aspirin, and 1500mg of Metformin daily. Hopefully, everything combined will make for a successful conception.
For now, we're just wishing we could make this special. Not that it isn't special in and of itself, but we'd like to do something nice. But it's all so scheduled and medical, it's hard to have it be sweet and special. Plus, all of this falls in the middle of the week, with the insemination on Rachel's last day of school!
So, in a nutshell, that's what we've been doing. If you wanna know more about the rest of our boring lives, check out Julianna 2006 for more.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
WELCOME, THEA!
Today, Holly and Sarah's baby, Alethea, was born! (refer to a previous entry titled A VEGAN BABY FOR A VEGAN COUPLE)
Alethea, aka "Thea", weighed in at nearly nine pounds and is 21 inches long! She's just beautiful... see?
Sarah and Holly won't get to bring Thea home until tomorrow, after all of the papers have been signed and witnessed at the hospital with the lawyer present. Until then, we're all very excited (and a little nervous, too!).
Alethea, aka "Thea", weighed in at nearly nine pounds and is 21 inches long! She's just beautiful... see?
Sarah and Holly won't get to bring Thea home until tomorrow, after all of the papers have been signed and witnessed at the hospital with the lawyer present. Until then, we're all very excited (and a little nervous, too!).
Thursday, April 13, 2006
NOT UNTIL MAY
We saw our doctor yesterday afternoon to discuss with him different options for testing and what we can do to make sure everything is working as it should. We inquired about putting Rachel on Metformin, a medication she's taken before, which he thought was a good idea. He said it couldn't hurt and that if anything, it would ensure a quality egg next time she ovulates. So, we got a script for that. Additionally, he's going to do an ultrasound next time she's nearing ovulation, which will be followed up by some sort of shot to induce ovulation. When all of that is done, we'll go in the following morning for insemination. It's sounds bad, but really it's not much and we feel good about it because then we can at least say we did all we could.
Only thing is, the Metformin has to work it's magic for a month, so we can't try again until May. While that is a little disappointing, it's for the best and ultimately, May would be the best time to get pregnant anyway.
So, now we have a plan that we feel really good about and we're looking forward to continuing the process.
Only thing is, the Metformin has to work it's magic for a month, so we can't try again until May. While that is a little disappointing, it's for the best and ultimately, May would be the best time to get pregnant anyway.
So, now we have a plan that we feel really good about and we're looking forward to continuing the process.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
NOT THIS MONTH
Well, our "first try" didn't work. We've been pretty upset and disappointed, but we realize a lot of folks don't get pregnant the first time and we're okay with that. We'd just hoped it would work, but it's okay that it didn't and we'll try again.
We're going to see our OBGYN this afternoon to discuss possibly doing some bloodwork and ovulation tests, just to make sure that everything is working like it should. We're just afraid that if we don't, we'll continue to exhaust all of our resources (and emotions!) "trying" time and time again.
More coming soon...
We're going to see our OBGYN this afternoon to discuss possibly doing some bloodwork and ovulation tests, just to make sure that everything is working like it should. We're just afraid that if we don't, we'll continue to exhaust all of our resources (and emotions!) "trying" time and time again.
More coming soon...
Monday, March 27, 2006
WAITING AND WAITING...
Some big news: we did it! In other words, we inseminated! It happened a little earlier than we expected, but we're really happy and very nervous.
Rachel wasn't supposed to ovulate until the last part of the week, leaving us a window of time either Friday afternoon or Saturday morning to inseminate. But earlier in the week, on Wednesday, she decided to go ahead and start using the predicter tests so we'd know exactly what was going on. She did this fully expecting a "negative", therefore she didn't pay much attention to the test results. She set the stick down on a table and hurriedly left for work.
Some time passed, maybe 15 minutes or so, and I walked by the table where the "positive" line on the stick caught my attention. I realized Rachel hadn't noticed the change as she left for work, so of course I had to let her know right away. I tried calling her cell phone -- no answer. I tried again and again -- no answer. So, I called the office where she works. I told the receptionist that I had a very urgent message -- to tell Rachel that "the line has changed" and she'd know exactly what it means.
Over at the school, the receptionist came over the intercom to Rachel's classroom and announced, "Ms. Roberts, Ms. Roberts -- I'm supposed to tell you 'the line has changed'!" hahahaha. So, Rachel called me in a panic but also very excited. We agreed that the doctor needed to be contacted, so I made my first call of what would become many, many exchanges between us and the doctor/staff.
It was determined that we'd need to come in on Friday for insemination. The only thing was, I still hadn't placed an order for the donor specimen or anything. I'd planned to do it late Wednesday so I could pick up the order on Thursday. So, I had to get on the ball and order right then. I placed our order and arranged to pick up the specimen on Thursday.
Fast forward to Thursday morning. Rachel wakes up, does another predicter test before leaving for work, and the test barely turns positive. In fact, the line was so faint that we thought it was giving us a negative reading. Rachel got really upset, but I assured her I'd take care of everything and all would be fine. A while later, she called me from work to say she was coming home. She was crying and was simply to worried and upset to stay at work. She said her gut was telling her to come home.
Rachel got home and we gathered up all the predictor sticks (we saved them, just in case we'd need them for the doctor) and headed over to the doctor's office. The nurse (and insemination coordinator) took a look at the tests and then our own personal charts. As it turns out, we'd mapped things out incorrectly and needed to do the insemination that day!
So, we left the doctor's office, drove 1 1/2 hours to Augusta to pick up the donor sperm, and then drove 1 1/2 hours back to Athens to make it happen. The whole morning Rachel had a lot of cramping, but as we approached the doctor's office from about 30 minutes away, the cramping stopped. She believes it was her egg doing its thing at the right time.
We arrived at the doctor's office and had to wait nervously for about 40 minutes while the specimen thawed. Talk about nerve-wrecking! Once in the treatment room, the doctor said everything looked great. We began procedure and the doctor let me inject the specimen through the syringe. That was kind of nice, but a bit uneventful and slightly disappointing. But it was still neat.
So, now the waiting game... we have a positive feeling about this, so wish us luck. I know a lot of people don't get pregnant the first time, but this just seems different somehow. We're trying to be realistic, however. We did have one thing come up and had a question, so we called the nurse/insemination coordinator. Her answer relieved us and she even said it was a "positive sign". So, let's hope it's true!
Rachel wasn't supposed to ovulate until the last part of the week, leaving us a window of time either Friday afternoon or Saturday morning to inseminate. But earlier in the week, on Wednesday, she decided to go ahead and start using the predicter tests so we'd know exactly what was going on. She did this fully expecting a "negative", therefore she didn't pay much attention to the test results. She set the stick down on a table and hurriedly left for work.
Some time passed, maybe 15 minutes or so, and I walked by the table where the "positive" line on the stick caught my attention. I realized Rachel hadn't noticed the change as she left for work, so of course I had to let her know right away. I tried calling her cell phone -- no answer. I tried again and again -- no answer. So, I called the office where she works. I told the receptionist that I had a very urgent message -- to tell Rachel that "the line has changed" and she'd know exactly what it means.
Over at the school, the receptionist came over the intercom to Rachel's classroom and announced, "Ms. Roberts, Ms. Roberts -- I'm supposed to tell you 'the line has changed'!" hahahaha. So, Rachel called me in a panic but also very excited. We agreed that the doctor needed to be contacted, so I made my first call of what would become many, many exchanges between us and the doctor/staff.
It was determined that we'd need to come in on Friday for insemination. The only thing was, I still hadn't placed an order for the donor specimen or anything. I'd planned to do it late Wednesday so I could pick up the order on Thursday. So, I had to get on the ball and order right then. I placed our order and arranged to pick up the specimen on Thursday.
Fast forward to Thursday morning. Rachel wakes up, does another predicter test before leaving for work, and the test barely turns positive. In fact, the line was so faint that we thought it was giving us a negative reading. Rachel got really upset, but I assured her I'd take care of everything and all would be fine. A while later, she called me from work to say she was coming home. She was crying and was simply to worried and upset to stay at work. She said her gut was telling her to come home.
Rachel got home and we gathered up all the predictor sticks (we saved them, just in case we'd need them for the doctor) and headed over to the doctor's office. The nurse (and insemination coordinator) took a look at the tests and then our own personal charts. As it turns out, we'd mapped things out incorrectly and needed to do the insemination that day!
So, we left the doctor's office, drove 1 1/2 hours to Augusta to pick up the donor sperm, and then drove 1 1/2 hours back to Athens to make it happen. The whole morning Rachel had a lot of cramping, but as we approached the doctor's office from about 30 minutes away, the cramping stopped. She believes it was her egg doing its thing at the right time.
We arrived at the doctor's office and had to wait nervously for about 40 minutes while the specimen thawed. Talk about nerve-wrecking! Once in the treatment room, the doctor said everything looked great. We began procedure and the doctor let me inject the specimen through the syringe. That was kind of nice, but a bit uneventful and slightly disappointing. But it was still neat.
So, now the waiting game... we have a positive feeling about this, so wish us luck. I know a lot of people don't get pregnant the first time, but this just seems different somehow. We're trying to be realistic, however. We did have one thing come up and had a question, so we called the nurse/insemination coordinator. Her answer relieved us and she even said it was a "positive sign". So, let's hope it's true!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
DONATIONS, DONATIONS! (OR FREELANCE OFFERS)
Now that we're officially in "trying" mode and looking to buy a new house, I'm in overdrive to earn as much money as possible to sock away into savings. We'll need it to help out with 2nd-parent adoption costs!
So... if you'd like to make a small (or large!) donation in our name, or if you'd like to hire me for freelance services (I build websites and draw/paint beautiful portraits), let me know! Just leave a comment below.
So... if you'd like to make a small (or large!) donation in our name, or if you'd like to hire me for freelance services (I build websites and draw/paint beautiful portraits), let me know! Just leave a comment below.
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